Dear Friend,

It's Friday, so here's your newest edition of The Screenwriter's Success newsletter: the most informative newsletter for screenwriters on the business of show business.

This week I'm very excited because we're adding a new column called "Digging the Well Before You're Thirsty: Tracking the Movement of Hollywood's Executives".

In this column we'll be updating you on the recent promotions and career moves of Hollywood's Executives. Trust me, you definitely want to keep a close eye on the individuals you desire to work with... and now you can!

And here's all the other great content we've got for you in this issue:

Write a Movie Script That's Good... Write a Query Letter That's Better!: is this week's article by yours truly. This piece gives you the 3 elements of a killer query letter that will actually get read by the individual you're sending it to.

The Box Office Report: gives you the latest feature film releases as well as the opening weekend projections, so you can be on top of this critical information.

Story Machines: is this week's article by mc foley. mc is an active writer and regular contributor to this newsletter. The title of her column is "Lessons Learned: One Writer's Journey".

The Video Screenwriting Tip of the Week: is replayed here from earlier in the week, just in case you didn't get to see it. The weekly tip offers simple and immediately useable advice on achieving screenwriting success.

Being Demographically Desirable: is this week's article from our newest contributor, Director of Development for Clifford Werber Productions, Daniel Manus. The title of his column is "No B.S. for Screenwriters - The Executive Perspective."

Best Business Advice for Screenwriters: is dedicated to asking a top executive or successful screenwriter the absolute best advice they could give a screenwriter looking for success. This month's contributor? Writer of Pixar's "Up," Tom McCarthy!

The Scoggins Report: is our bi-weekly/monthly spec market analysis. Use this information to see what's selling, who's buying what, and what genre you should be writing for. This information is pure gold...

Digging the Well Before You're Thirsty: is our newest column dedicated to tracking the promotions and movements of Hollywood's Executives.

The Business of Show Institute Recommends: is the weekly screenwriting product or service that our staff has personally reviewed and feel you would benefit from. This week? An in-depth interview with Senior Vice President of Development and Production for George Lopez Presents (and accomplished screenwriter!), Lynette Ramirez!

That's it for this issue, but we are dedicated to making this newsletter THE resource for aspiring screenwriters.

If you enjoyed it, and would like to pass it along to friends, please have them go directly to http://www.TheBusinessOfShowInstitute.com and have them sign up there.

May Your Life Be Extraordinary,

Marvin V. Acuna

Write a Movie Script that's Good... Write a Query Letter that's Better!

by Marvin V. Acuna

I recently hosted a tele-seminar that afforded aspiring screenwriters from all over the world the opportunity to listen to an insightful and stimulating discussion about screenwriting as a profession. Participants had the opportunity to ask questions that pertained to their personal challenges, communicating directly with the various guests who participated on the call. It should be noted that all the guests were successful, established veterans with at least 20 years plus of professional expertise.

Among the copious questions presented and addressed in this forum, the following question prompted me to share my thoughts here.

"I"ve emailed a number of managers and agents seeking representation, but have not heard back from anyone. What's the trick to securing a good agent or manager to represent me and my screenplays?"

The trick?

There is no trick. The answer lies in your introduction, your very first writing sample, and most importantly (drum roll please), your logline.

There are a vast number of tools to aid you in the pursuit of representation. I will focus your attention here on just one --- the query letter.

Most representatives delegate the trifling task of reading incoming queries to an assistant or intern. But truth is, most representatives do read queries. Even more importantly, representatives actually respond to ones that HOOK their interest.

If you are not generating any interest from query letters, it simply means that you need to redraft your letter and specifically your logline.

Here are three basic guidelines to consider when crafting your next query letter:


1 - Know Your Market

Targeting CAA or any of the top-tier literary representatives is simply the wrong strategy. They are shaping careers, not inventing them. They are elevating a career, not commencing one.

Targeting boutique entities that develop new talent is a more appropriate and useful strategy. New blood is welcomed. But, be original.

Most representative inboxes are littered with emails that begin:

Boring and generic, right? If your email query begins this way or anything that resembles it you may as well delete the email yourself.

Instead use the power of the internet to insure that your introduction stands out. Keep in mind that this is a town full of press releases, screenwriting forums, and companies that exist to track who is being hired, fired, promoted, who sells what, who buys what, etc... Use this information to set yourself apart. Here’s an example:

In my opinion, that opening presents you as an informed professional versus a novice.

Do some due diligence on the target. This affords you the opportunity to personalize the letter. Hear me: I'm not suggesting that you make this some rambling saga. Keep it simple.


2 - The Right Hook

The industry is changing and will continue to evolve but, what will not change is this... Representatives are seeking material they can sell in a competitive marketplace!

Your logline is the essential ingredient. I recommend that you always introduce your most commercial, big idea. Your logline should evoke the imagination to see the movie poster, the video box.

If it doesn't, rework your one-to-two sentence logline until it does. The goal is to entice the reader to request the script, just as a trailer's purpose is to sell tickets. This is the "coming attractions" moment.

Christopher Vogler and I spoke at length about this and he offered the following technique when crafting a logline. Here it is:

Think in terms of a certain rhetorical device - "Not only, but also." In essence, you are introducing the reader to a base they are already familiar with, but then offering a twist or something about the subject they did not know.

Example:
The Easter Bunny decides to retire and hides out as a pet with a suburban family, turning their lives upside down.

By distilling your screenplay idea to its most memorable form you will make it easily transferable and saleable.


3 - The First Impression

Absolutely never neglect the basics of spelling, grammar, and clear, vivid writing. This is your first impression... it matters! Your query letter itself functions partly as a writing sample.

This is your sales tool, not a sales pitch. Don't make the mistake of confusing the two. This is not the place to ramble on about how great your screenplay is or how engaging your characters are. That's for the reader to decide. Special Note: If your uncle tells you that your idea is a $100 Million Dollar idea... let him buy it. ☺

Write a professional, intelligent, concise, intriguing query that includes a compelling and commercially viable logline and not only will you entice representatives to ask for more, but you'll be one step closer to a sale.

The Box Office Report

Lessons Learned: One Writer's Journey

Story Machines

by mc foley

Saturday morning in LA. July heat burning into high gear. But we can't feel it inside this room, where the churning AC is just enough to soak the ocean of bodies with cool release. Why is it so crowded? Especially on a Saturday morning in the summertime when the last place people would want to be, it seems, is inside an office building?

It's packed because it's a panel/mixer about turning a screenplay into a comic book. And it's not just packed. It's Standing Room Only. People are sitting on the floor, pressed against the wall, awaiting the chance to chat up the agents from WME2 and CAA, the two indie comic book creators, the entertainment attorney, company owner, or the two writer-producers with hit shows on the air.

The panel ends. The crowd disperses, rippling out into different rooms and the hallway. Each person chooses to do one of five things: eat, approach the panelists, approach the other people in the crowd, hit the toilet, or leave.

I find a prime location to make contact with as many people as possible. I position myself for prime crowd interaction, and within moments I've already met five new people. Then ten. Then twenty. On and on it goes, until I've spoken with as many as sixty or eighty people – thankfully, the majority of them are interesting, working to get themselves or their clients further along in their careers.

But who do I remember the most? Aside from the good-looking ones, the rude/weird/arrogant ones, the comedians or the comic-world celebrities?

Three people, and their stories, imprint themselves into my brain:

1. The screenwriter-turned-comic book writer.
2. The writer-director with the massive bible for a feature - now becoming an internet series or graphic novel
3. The story machine

These three stick - not only because I am impressed with their work and what it teaches me - but because each one churned out material in different formats, and despite any obstacles, made themselves roll with the punches, creating newer, better material along the way.

Number 1 wrote a feature on spec, spending an enormous amount of time perfecting the script and crafting the best strategy to sell it. The spec did not sell (yet); however, what it did do - was somehow end up in the hands of a company searching for a voice to pen their newest comic book, and in that spec they saw the unique voice they were searching for. Now, this screenwriter who'd never written a comic suddenly found himself setup with an ongoing, completely funded, comic book series from a highly respected company (and renewed interest in his spec).

Number 2, an accomplished writer-director, dreamt up an epic sci-fi story, created - upon request - a massive bible of story/universe, images and character descriptions, and after three years of development on the project was informed that it would not be funded in its current format. I could tell he was unhappy about this situation, and I could practically see the years of gargantuan effort churning through his veins as he spoke to me; however, he did not bring up the story to complain about it. He brought it up because he was looking for elements to push the story forward in its new format - as a web series and/or graphic novel. These formats would clearly not get him paid in the same way a feature might have - but he had so much conviction in the story, he felt he had to somehow execute it - and put it out into the world.

Number 3 looked like he was twenty years old. He was older than that, but not by much. When a group of other people and I began discussing methods of self- publishing, Number 3 pulled out a handful of professionally executed comics. Comics he'd written and self-published, after locating the perfect artists. He rattled off the meetings he'd had with executives who'd seen his comics; the two novels he’d penned and the new one he'd begun to craft; and eventually, he said, he wanted to get into TV - so, of course, he'd written a pilot. Number 3 struck me because he fit his accomplishments and writing samples very easily, very organically into the conversation - and within a very short span of time, I not only watched as countless people scribbled down his contact information, but, since he'd given me one of his comics, I also found myself singing his praises to others after he'd gone. Pretty soon, I'd shown his exemplary work to five other people who just as quickly wrote down his website and info. They wanted to ask him questions, to pick his brain - and mostly, they just wanted to know who this talented person was. This fountain of material and entrepreneurial drive. This Story Machine.

The next day, all three of them kept floating through my mind. I thought about them as I looked at my own stack of writing. Was I putting in enough time? Was I exploring as many mediums as possible? Was I rolling with the punches? Am I doing what I was put on this earth to do - to write - as much and as often as I could? The efforts that all three of those writers had made to go above and beyond - to overdeliver each and every time they worked on something - said volumes about what they would bring to a project. They each certainly had the potential for long, consistent, and varied careers.

And looking back, I realize that they are each - in their own way - Story Machines. The very thing I aim to be. Because I can't guarantee the outcome. I have no idea whether or not my script will be produced, or my book will be published. But what I can guarantee, is that I will generate material. I will consistently - generate - material. Like those three people I was lucky enough to meet. The machines. The story machines.

-mc foley


About mc foley:
Melinda Corazon Foley was born in Cebu, Philippines, raised in Virginia and currently resides in West Hollywood, CA. In 2005, MC Foley was named East West Players' James Irvine Foundation Mentee affording her the privilege to craft a new original stage play, the result: "Down and Out." It debuted at the Union Center for the Arts. Foley was then awarded the Asian American Writers Workshop Scholarship, which she utilized to re-imagine the aforementioned play into a web based series incorporating verse, motion graphics and comic book illustrations. Recently Ms. Foley completed work on a debut YA novel, The Ice Hotel. The novel is a fantasy adventure written especially for readers experiencing the profound pain of loss. In the book, a family, reeling from their eldest son's death, escapes to the Ice Hotel, where an age-old, arctic magic connects this world to the next.

The Video Screenwriting Tip of the Week

Tip #33: Write a Movie Script Based on a Book (Legally)

No B.S. for Screenwriters - The Executive Perspective

Being Demographically Desirable

by Daniel Manus

As I stated in my last article, one of the biggest issues executives often have with scripts is recognizing the demographic for which it was written. A demographic, of course, is the statistical makeup of the group of people you are targeting for your project or product. Age, gender, race, geographic location, religion, etc. It all plays a factor.

I'm sure you've all heard the term four quadrant movie. This means it appeals to men and women, young and old. Those are the four quadrants. Tent pole movies are those big blockbuster special effects-ridden, Michael Bay popcorn extravaganza event films that everyone says they hate, but secretly loves. "Star Trek" and "Transformers," while both skewing slightly male, reached out across all 4 quadrants. "Land of the Lost," which wanted to be a four quadrant movie, didn't. Why? Because Will Ferrell doesn't always connect with all four quadrants. There are very few actors that do (Tom Hanks, Will Smith, Sandra Bullock), which is why most tent poles focus on the effects or action and the actors are kind of secondary. If you are writing a tent pole movie however, you need to keep in mind each of these quadrants so you know you have something for everyone.

"Star Trek" had romance and good looking actors for the ladies, big effects and sci-fi coolness for the guys, plus it had brand recognition for the older crowd and didn't have much cursing or gratuitous blood for the kiddies. And it had the X-factor, which in this case was the approval of fanboys nationwide and JJ Abrams' hip factor.

Thankfully, not every movie is a tent pole. But every movie has (or certainly should have) a target demo. If it didn't, that means no one would watch it. As writers, you need to know what that target is. You need to know if the movie you are writing is going to connect with the demo to which i'’s going to be sold and you need to make sure your characters and dialogue are going to connect with and be appropriate for that group.

Teen movies are a great example of how having an unclear demographic can sink a perfectly good movie. One big problem with kid/pre-teen/teen movies is that parents THINK their kids behave and speak one way, when really they speak and behave a completely different way. My old boss refused to believe that 12 and 13 year olds were having sex or doing drugs. He has a young daughter and couldn't fathom the idea. But I knew differently. And so does anyone else on Myspace or Stickam. So when you are targeting a movie to 13 year old girls, but the writing sounds like an episode of "Dora the Explorer," you're fucked. Sorry kids, pardon my language. Here are two examples of teen movie flops to illustrate the point.

"Sydney White" - Now, my company produced "Sydney White" and I worked incredibly hard developing this project, so it hurt when this movie didn't do well, especially knowing how incredibly it tested nationwide. And while I stand by the movie, it failed for two reasons. First, the company that financed it did not put up enough money for P&A. And secondly, because when we hired a director and new writers to do a rewrite on the script, no one could decide what demographic we should be targeting. Our producer wanted to go younger - a PG rating aimed at the 7-12 year olds. The problem with that? Our movie was set in college, so writing a college movie for children came off cheesy, soft and not believable. Would you believe any college movie that didn't have any drinking or sexual language?

Our director wanted to make it a harder PG-13 movie aimed at 15-19 year olds with the knowledge that if you bring in 17 year olds, the 12-16 year olds come with them, and the 7-10 year olds weren't a big enough demographic to care about. The problem with this scenario? Our star was Amanda Bynes, whose core fan base was squarely in the 10-13 range, and not 16-18. And it turns out, 7-10 year olds do watch movies. And on top, we had a studio/financier that didn’t really care about the creative aspects of the movie, just the bottom line.

So, what we ended up with was a PG-13 rated college-set movie starring Amanda Bynes that had a few PG-13 jokes, a PG storyline and a blend of both PG and PG-13 characters. Our 7 "dorks" were a constant point of contention. In fact, the original title was "Sydney White and the Seven Dorks," but our financier thought it skewed too young. Our producer thought saying "dorks" might bring in the fanboys, but he lost that battle. So we cut it out, and they were both wrong. Some wanted there to be more drug and sex references that might go over the heads of kids, but ultimately, it wasn't working. So this confusion in demographic, combined with so little advertising it would make you scream, caused this project, which was testing at 98%, to be DOA.

"College" was a script that went out as a spec, and was widely liked as an R-rated college comedy. I had met with the writers after reading the spec, and they were great. The project got bought, then put into turnaround, then bought again and finally got made. But the project had similar problems as "Sydney." They casted Drake Bell, whose fan base was from Nickelodeon, and Kevin Covais, the dorky kid from American Idol. The main characters were high school kids who go to college for a weekend. The story and characters were PG-13 geared, but the producers and director chose to push it and throw in montages of tits and ass and booze to make it R-rated, and unfortunately, it didn't connect with an older crowd because it didn't look mature enough. It looked like a high school version of a college movie.

R rated teen comedies usually only work if they are going to bring in adults too like "Knocked Up" and "40 Year-Old Virgin." Yes there are exceptions, like "Superbad," but you gotta play the odds.

Horror is another genre that often gets screwed by bad marketing and an unclear demo. Screen Gems for a long time, only made PG-13 horror because they figured that even though it might alienate some adults who want more blood and nudity, it would more than make up for it with younger teens who want a scare on a Friday night. And they were usually right. After hard R-rated movies like "Saw" and "Hostel" came out, teens were left out of the horror world = and they wanted in. But making a PG-13 horror film comes with drawbacks, namely, no nudity and no gratuitous blood or gore. So if you have a psychological horror movie like "The Ring" or "The Grudge," this can work well, but it doesn't work so well for the "Friday the 13th" movies or the torture-porn style of horror.

There are certainly some small indies that are very specialized. "Shortbus" certainly wasn't made for a broad audience, but it knew its demographic and exploited it, and was successful in that niche. There are a million more examples we can go through, but the bottom line is - know who you are targeting so that you can gear your story, characters and dialogue to that demo and make it clear to the executives reading your script that there is an appropriate audience.


About Daniel Manus:
Daniel Manus is the Director of Development for Clifford Werber Productions (Cinderella Story, Sydney White). CWP recently set up a family fantasy/adventure project at United Artists which Daniel is attached to co-produce. He is also attached to produce several projects independently including "Dreams of an Aspiring Romantic," starring Emily Osment and "Strange Fruit," written by J.S. Cardone (Prom Night).

Daniel recently started his own script consulting company - No BullScript Consulting, which can be found at www.nobullscript.net. He has been a freelance script consultant for years, working for companies such as ScriptShark and Script Coach and teaches courses to writers at conferences around the country.

Daniel was previously Director of Development for Sandstorm Films, which had a first look deal at Sony Screen Gems and a development deal with Top Cow Comics. Raised on Long Island, NY, he holds a BS degree in Television with a concentration in Screenwriting from the Ithaca College Park School of Communications.

Best Business Advice for Screenwriters

Tom McCarthy, writer of Pixar's "Up" on his Best Business Advice to Screenwriters:

"It's so basic but it's just 'keep writing.' It's always the simple lessons that are hardest I think and that IS the hardest because, you know, there's a lot of reasons to doubt yourself and get frustrated with the industry. Just to stop because life gets in the way - and I think the best thing you can do is set up a schedule for writing and stick to it."

The Scoggins Report

Spec Market Scorecard: 2009 to Date

by Jason Scoggins

As much as I love the summer weather we're enjoying in Los Angeles, I'm very much looking forward to September. After all, the combination of strong year-over-year box office results and the end of the recession can only mean the return of a vibrant spec market after Labor Day, right? I know there are plenty more ancient toy and videogame properties to exploit, and sequels, remakes and reboots are here to stay (see Michael Adams' commentary on this topic here, at TheWrap.com), but with the spec market so slow for the first half of 2009 and the mother of all strikes potentially looming in 2011, I expect the studios to start stocking up on original material again this Fall. (Knock wood.)

Meanwhile, the post-Independence Day slow-down has officially begun, as you can see from the numbers for July, below. Almost no material has been brought to market so far this month, and since the last Scorecard (June 15) there has been literally no improvement in the spec market (which is saying something, considering how bad it’s been): 32 scripts went wide in the last 30 days, none of which have sold. As I noted in the Spec Market Roundup for June a week or so ago, only 1 of the (now) 73 specs that have gone wide in the last 10 weeks have sold.

Depressing numbers, to be sure. The next eight weeks can't pass quickly enough.

Overall Spec Numbers:

* As of July 14.

Note: The above monthly totals don't align with those of the below grids because I've adjusted the "Overall Spec Numbers" grids to reflect sales of the scripts that originally came out in a given month, whereas the below grids reflect the distribution of each month’s sales. For example, Original Artists's sale of "Tapped Out" last month is indicated in February's numbers above, since that's when the script originally went out, but is included in June's numbers below, since that's when the sale to Chockstone was announced.

Spec Sales By Genre:

Spec Sales By Buyer:

CBS Films and Lionsgate got on the board since the last Scorecard, but we're still waiting for Universal and Paramount (and big Fox, for that matter) to step up and follow in the footsteps of Warner Bros.

Spec Sales By Seller:

For those wondering, WME is 0 for 8 since the merger, although 2 of those came out July 14. And since I’m mentioning on-base percentages, it’s only fair to note APA is 0 for 17 and Paradigm is 0 for 10 for 2009.

To end on a positive note, congratulations to H2F, which has the sole sale for July so far (Chris Borelli’s “Vatican Tapes,” which received multiple bids and sold to Lionsgate on Ally Shearmur’s side, from H2F and UTA).

About The Spec Market Scorecard:
The Spec Market Report and the Spec Market Scorecard are terribly unscientific analyses of the feature film spec script market based on information culled from a variety of public and non-public sources. They do not include pitch sales nor the film rights to underlying material. Past editions of the Report and the Scorecard are collected at http://www.lifeonthebubble.com and in the BOSI archives at http://www.thebusinessofshowinstitute.com/newsletter/past-newsletters.html.

About Jason Scoggins:
Jason Scoggins is a manager and partner at Protocol, a literary management and production company. He represents writers, directors and producers of film and TV alongside Protocol’s founding partners Brian Inerfeld and John Ufland. After getting his start in the entertainment business as an assistant at ICM, Scoggins became a TV Literary Agent at The Gersh Agency, followed by a stint at Writers & Artists Agency and then several years in the wilderness. He returned to the business in 2007, just in time to be impacted by the run-up to the WGA strike.

Digging the Well Before You're Thirsty:

Tracking the Movement of Hollywood's Executives

What do you do when a friend gets promoted or moves to a new position? You congratulate them right?

What else might you do? You might send them a card telling them how excited you are for their new position. Later, you might follow up with that person to see how they're settling in. Then, you might send them an interesting article once in a while.

Why would you do this? Because that's how relationships are nurtured and developed. (They're not developed by asking for favors before the relationship has matured)

So we'd like you to help us in congratulating the following executives who have just been promoted or moved positions.

The Business of Show Institute Congratulates the Following Executives in Their New Positions:

John Flock
Chief Executive Officer, Peace Arch Entertainment Group Inc.

Emily Goldfrank
Director of Development, Juniper Place Productions

Andrea Shay
Vice President of TV Comedy Development, Mark Gordon Company

The Business of Show Institute Recommends:

If you're an aspiring screenwriter looking to get your material read by development executives in Hollywood, then this might be the most exciting message you will ever read. Click here for more info.